i would gather children

2011-01-16T22:53:00.001-08:00

"What, therefore, is our task today? Should I answer 'Faith, hope and love?' That sounds beautiful. But I would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature... we lack a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth... a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth and and the desruction of God's people. To rage when little children must die of hunger, while the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and the madness of militaries. To rage against the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destrustion peace. To rage against COMPLACENCY. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the kingdom of God."

-Father Kaj Munk, 1944

Bittersweet. Missing my Josi.

2010-12-04T13:37:00.000-08:00

Two years ago today, Sammy and I were anticipating the arrival of our newest daughter, and our children were so excited to have their new sister by Christmas. We had started the adoption process one year earlier in December to adopt this scared and crying little girl, named Jhosseline, I had found on a photo listing. Guatemalan adoptions were coming to a close on January 1, and I saw her photo on December 23. If she was to be adopted, there was only one way to get the paperwork in for her in time, and that was to fly there and do it in person. We only had until December 28 to do that. At the time, I knew that was a far-fetched idea because Sammy had made it quite clear that he didn't want any more kids. (After all our family was complete as Shay had been home for 6mos.) And to fly to Guatemala on a moment's notice, the day after Christmas, well I already knew that this was never going to happen. But I felt compelled to pray, and pray I did. I couldn't stop. I printed her photo out and posted it on the fridge and wrote on it with a big red marker, "Pray she gets a family before Jan 1st." To make a miracle-packed, two-day story short, Sammy and I were on a plane to Guatemala the day after Christmas to meet our daughter and to start the process of adopting her. This was big, this was GOD BIG. Sammy doesn't work this fast. For a year I had been praying for his heart to soften for another child. God steps in and 'WHAM!' two days later we're in Guatemala and this precious four-year old angel is with us in our arms. Talk about surreal.

Well, over the year-long adoption process, we got to spend time with Josi via our Skype video calls once a week. I visited her again on her 5th birthday. We had a big party. She had a piñata bigger than her and a delicious cake. There were lots of kids, and songs, and presents. I think it was the best birthday she ever had. I had purchased tickets to visit her again in November, but our case finally passed the final court on October 31, and she was officially our daughter. There was more paperwork to do and money to send, so I cancelled my trip because I knew she would be home in December.

Two years ago, December 5, 2008, it was a good day. Josi's bed was ready for her, 'pink' at her request. All her clothes washed and folded in her dresser. Christmas presents bought and wrapped and waiting for her to tear open. There were Spanish-to-English translations posted throughout the house to help us in understanding each other. Our bags were packed as we knew it was only a matter of days before we were told to book our flight. I could not be happier. I was finally getting my little girl!

Then the phone rang, and everything changed…

While our family was out to dinner that evening, we received a phone call. I had to go outside because it was too loud in the restaurant. The fiancée of Josi's adoption facilitator called me and his voice sounded serious. He asked if Sammy was with me. I said yes, even though he was still in the restaurant with our kids. I mean, how bad could it be? I thought he might tell me something was wrong with the paperwork and that we couldn't get her by Christmas, (which would have probably really upset me.)

He told me that Josi had been killed. At first I didn't believe him. I asked how she died, and he told me. Then I believed him. No one would make that up. My heart fell and my legs buckled. On my knees on the concrete I cried out to God…

I composed myself and went back into the restaurant and told Sammy and the kids. My girls cried and cried. Little Sammy, four-years old, said, "Why are you all crying? She's in Heaven with Jesus." God's reminder in little Sammy's words are what got us out of that restaurant and home.

The next couple of weeks didn't seem real. Sort of like an out-of-body experience. My life was continuing, but in third person. I don't even know how I got through those days. Eventually, the state-of-shock and unbelief lifted for all of us as we then started to just deal with the sadness and loss of our beloved Josi.

No one knows why things like this happen, and that's probably a good thing. We do know that we were called to adopt Josi. We followed God's leading and put everything in his hands. How blessed are we to have known and loved her for the year that we did. That she was able to feel our love and know that we wanted her so badly even while she was waiting. We rejoice in knowing that she is with our Heavenly Father and that we will one day reunite.

All I wanted two years ago was for her to come home. I had no idea that God had another home in mind, his home. The tears today we shed are not only tears of sadness, but tears of happiness.

So for now, we will continue to do our best to celebrate her home.

WORSHIP is more than singing songs to God. Watch and be changed. I was.

2010-08-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

An AMAZING must-watch video

2010-06-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

Please take the time to watch it.

Four months in pics...

2010-06-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

FEBRUARY

Having so much fun dressing up my real live baby doll ;)

Boys having fun with Papa Sam building towers with math manipulatives.

Sammy's first T-ball game of the season.

Grandma Louise and Saron

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUBREY!

Aubrey turned 11 this month. We had birthday pics, but they were accidentally deleted before we transferred them on the computer :(

MARCH

On our way to our first beach trip of the season.

A very sleepy Sammy.

Saron was not happy with the beach at all, especially the water. She did warm up to the sand however.

The sand was just "okay." Not many smiles while we were there.

Lots of smiles, and chills, from the boys.

The girls had great fun too.

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY HALEY!

Didn't realize we were out of candles until it was time for cake. So Haley opted for farm animal candles and a No. 5 for her age. Of course, we happily obliged.

APRIL

More ball field pics

Easter 2010

Some pics of the boys in the backyard. Courtesy of Aubrey's capturing.

My girls being goofy with my camera.

Girls playing with make-up (actually paint,) my camera, and Photoshop.

I think they look pretty darn good.

Soccer time!

Robby finally had enough with his beautiful curls. He chopped them all off. I couldn't even watch :(

We got a new bird. A hand-tamed cocketiel.

Her name is Delilah... (Unless of course we figure out that it is a boy, in which case his name will be Rico.)

I will end the month of April with a pic of this gorgeous desert sunset, (courtesy of Haley ;)

MAY

Time for soccer for Shay!

The girls taking pics of their new Africa gear.

A visit from Aunt Tina and Gramma

Our boys helping the landscapers. We are getting landscaping.... WHOOOOHOOOO!!!
Can't wait to feel soft grass under my feet.

Family pic with ALL of us... Even Robby, (taken for our three-month post placement for Saron.)

Can We Offer Them Any Less?

2010-04-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful video.

Scroll down to the bottom of the page

and pause the music first.

New Blog Design and New Post coming up...

2010-04-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

So sorry I haven't been keeping up. Not even sure if anyone even visits anymore. Everything is busily wonderful here on the homefront. We are thoroughly enjoying Saron. She is a complete joy. Here are a few pics of her. A family update will be coming soon.

WE ARE HOME

2010-02-04T00:41:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note to let all my friends and family know that we are home safe with our precious Saron. I promise to write the details of our trip, but for now I will just post a few pics. Saron came home with a double ear and throat infection. I was at the ER with her for five hours today. I am exhausted and Saron is hurting... my poor sweet baby :( She got a shot along with another prescription to knock out the infection. When the medicine kicks in, I will be able to spend a little more time updating ya'll.

In the meantime, please enjoy the pics. It was an incredible, memorable, heart-wrenching, joyous trip!

Our first meeting.

Saron was not at all impressed, but it was only a matter of time before she warmed up to us and was smiling up a storm.

All dressed up and ready to go on our embassy date.

She learned how to play peek-a-boo quickly!

HOME AT LAST!

Thank you Jesus

Our prayers and condolences go out to the family members of those killed in the Ethiopian Air flight 409 that crashed in Lebanon. It was due to land around the same time our flight did. We heard about it moments after we got off our plane.

Finding Peace Again...

2010-01-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

So much on my heart... How do I put it into words...

I'm not sure. All I know is that

~ I am the clay in God's hands. All I want to do is what he wills me to do. I have prayed unceasingly for God to reveal his will to my husband and me.

~ there is a woman in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, who ill and is inflicted with the Aids virus. She gave birth to a daughter on November 12, 2008; and knowing that she would be unable to raise her, decided to give her up, with the hope and prayer that there will be a family who might want this child.

~ in 13 days Haley and I will be on a plane headed to the other side of the world. There is a child there, a little girl, and God has chosen us to raise her. She will become our daughter and sister. This child is the answer to my prayers. And Lord willing, we are the answer to her birthmother's prayers.

Dear God. You have given me peace again. You have taken a horrible tragedy and turned it into something so beautiful. You have taken Josi from us only to bring us Saron. Thank you for your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderfully blessed holiday

filled with friends and family.

Here are a few pics!

Travel Dates

2009-12-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

Haley and I will be traveling to Addis Ababa, Ethiopa, on January 23. We first fly to Dubai, United Arab Emirates, and spend one night there getting a well needed rest after a 16hr flight, and then on the morning of the 25th, we will have a short 4hr jaunt to Addis. I imagine we will be getting Saron either that Monday or Tuesday. We will spend 7 days in Ethiopia. We hope to be able to meet Saron's birthmother while we're there. Spending time with the children in both Hope's and Arise's orphanages is also a priority. On Thursday, we have our embassy appointment, and then we have the weekend to rest up until our long flight home.

We arrive home at LAX on Tuesday, February 2nd in the afternoon. Then this 2yr long adoption chapter will end and we will have the child, Lord willing, that God has meant for us.

Christmas Photo Out-takes & Giveaway Info.

2009-12-10T23:37:00.000-08:00

Well after over 80 shots, we did get some good ones. But I thought I would post some of the ones that didn't turn out so good.

I found this blog, My Crazy Adoption, through another blog and wanted to post about her great giveaway. She's giving away lots of stuff including two t-shirts. The grand prize equals $180 worth of gifts, and also some other giveaways. They also design and sell some awesome looking adoption t-shirts. I have seen many, and these have the coolest design and wording I've ever seen. In fact, I want one.

You have to check it out, just click the box below. The entries are free, easy and fun!

THE VERDICT IS IN.....

2009-12-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

WE PASSED!!!

Thanks and praise and glory be to God

our Heavenly Father!!!

Somebody pinch me!

Is this for real.

I'll write more when I get my thoughts together.

This is our new daughter, Saron.

Tentative travel date is the week of January 20th.

ONE MORE DAY!!!

2009-12-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

We are so happy that our court date is tomorrow!

(It will actually take place tonight, while we sleep.)

Looking forward to this day has done wonders for all of our family in keeping our minds off of the tragic event of last year.

I have a few friends who also have court dates tomorrow and the rest of this week. Would you please join us in praying that we pass court.

We are all desperate for good news!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
~Philipians 4:6-7

One year ago on December 5, 2008...

2009-12-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

One year ago tonight, our family was rocked to its core, when we got the call that changed everything. Our daughter, Josi, whom we were days away from picking up was dead. Murdered. Stabbed to death. Dear God, could this be true? Could this really be happening?

But... today is also the one-year anniversary of a most Joyous event. Jhosseline Merary Alejandra Azhderian entered Heaven's gates and went home to live with her Heavenly Father in eternity. While we ache with sadness that we will never see her again this side of Heaven, we rejoice because we know that she is the happiest she could ever be. So much more happier than we could have ever made her, experiencing so much more love than we could have ever given her.

Josi may have been an orphan here in this awful, sin-filled, world; but she was never an orphan to Jesus. The way she died was worse than anyone can imagine, yet Jesus guarantees instant Heaven and carried her home in his arms. The moment Josi saw Jesus, she was made perfect, and completely transformed into the image of Christ. Now she has perfect pleasure, perfect knowledge, perfect comfort, perfect love, and perfect joy.

God is sovereign and perfect in all that he does. Obviously we cannot know, or understand, his full purpose or plan, but we can trust that his plan is perfect.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." ~Isa.55:8-9

The first photo we ever saw of Josi

(It is dated December 5, 2007)

Visiting Josi

For one year we were blessed to know you and love you.

You will remain in our hearts until we see you again.

Spend Less, Give More, LOVE LIKE JESUS

2009-12-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

Kentucky and Thanksgiving

2009-12-01T21:49:00.000-08:00

Our adoption agency, Arise Adoptions, is based out of Louisville, KY, and they were having a one-year anniversary celebration on November 6. At the same time, my very dear and close friend, Kelly, and her family, happened to be driving through Louisville on their way to Chicago. I was thinking how great it would be to be able to go and meet our agency director and some of the families that are also in process, and of course to also be able to see Kelly; so I decided to check out airfare to KY. And to my surprise, the tickets were cheap, only $268 round trip; but I didn't purchase them then. I still needed to talk with Sammy. A few days later, it came to me that we had a credit coming to us from an airline--not sure which one it was--from the visit trip that we had cancelled last November to visit Josi. (We decided to cancel, because we knew it would only be a couple of weeks after the visit that we would be picking her up. Little did we know that she would be gone just a few days after our visit trip would have ended.) Anyway, I called and indeed we had a credit with American Airlines. With such a good deal, Sammy didn't have any problems with me going. So, I got to go to Louisville with Aubrey and little Sammy for a nice little vacation. It was so nice getting away for a few days and also getting to spend some good quality time with Aubrey and Sam. We all had so much fun. Kentucky was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE the country and have always seen myself living amongst trees and grass. I still often wonder why God put us here in the desert, but I know we have a purpose here.

The Arise celebration was awesome. Just being able to meet and fellowship with others using our same agency, and in the same situation as we are, with our children in the same orphanages, made it so worth the trip. I met some really fantastic families.

Meeting Kelly and her family was the highlight of our trip. We met at the Louisville Zoo and had a great time walking and talking and looking at the animals... which were all awake and very animated. It was the best zoo I have ever been too. After the Zoo, we had lunch, and then spent a couple of hours in our hotel room before they had to continue on to Chicago. Our kids hit it off really well as we knew they would. Now we just have to get our older kids together. Neither of our older ones went on the trip. Maybe next year...

Kelly and me

Aubrey and Karaline, Kelly's daughter.

Kolton and Karson, Kelly's sons, with Sammy in the middle.

Kemry, Kelly's sweet and beautiful Guatemalan angel.

Kelly's four and my two.

(Kelly's Kollin and Karly stayed behind in TN, and my Haley, & Shay stayed behind in CA along with Robby and Daddy.)

Another shot of all the kids.

We were invited to a BBQ from another Arise family. The kids had so much fun playing in the trees, (it's like a forest in KY,) jumping in leaf piles, and playing with the other children there.

We even got to go on a real hayride.

We had a memorable Thanksgiving. The turkey turned out fantastic and we had really great company.

Aubrey and her friend, Janelle

Haley and her friend, Jocelyn

Four giggly girls

My sis, Tina, and her boyfriend, Granger

Robby and Sammy

My mom

My niece, Amanda

My great nephew, Caleb, showing me his turkey

The little boys

Tina, and her son, Michael, and his Caleb
Mom, Tina, Amanda, and me

Happy Birthday Saron

2009-11-12T11:28:00.000-08:00

Today is your first birthday, sweet baby girl.
I pray that this will be the last birthday you'll spend in an orphanage.

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Robby, Haley, Aubrey, Sammy, and Shay

COURT DATE!!!

2009-11-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

I've gotten to the point where I never thought I would post those two words. I can't believe it! We have a court date. It's on December 8. Only three days after the one-year anniversary of our precious daughter's death.

October 31st, Halloween, marked the one-year anniversary of Josi officially becoming our daughter, and as December is approaching quickly, I was starting to get anxious knowing that I would be a rough time for me. But now... NOW... I have something so good and exciting to look forward too. (Thank you God for your perfect timing.) Saron's birth mother has to show up to court on that day to be available to speak and sign her name off one last time relinquishing herself as her mother. Saron's birth mother is ill with HIV Aids and as a result, has decided to make a plan for her daughter so that she will not be orphaned when she passes. (Saron's birth father has already died from HIV.) I just pray that she is healthy enough to make the trip. Please pray with me that we will pass court and that Saron's birth mother is healthy enough to make the trip to the Addis Ababa court house. My heart aches for this woman and the sadness she must feel. I hope she feels some joy in her heart as she learns that her daughter will be loved on and cared for her entire life and most importantly taught about Jesus and his wonderful plan for her.

Now... I can start preparing for a daughter, a baby girl, to join our family.

Long Overdue Photo Update on My Family

2009-11-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since I've posted anything that's not adoption-related. I thought I'd at least post some photos of our summer and some of fall. I tried to make them in order, but some may not be.

Sammy and our friend Richie at a summer evening Dodger game.

Best Buds.

Shay with his women.

Haley and her friend, Anna.

Shay playing with the yucky green water.

Getting ready for a lot of dirty work.

Daddy, pooped out after hours and hours and days and days of preparing for our new swimming pool.

Having fun in the mud.

Yeah.... Mud

A little cold after the mud bath.

Aubrey with a little mud.

Sammy with a little mud.

Let the mud-fest begin.

Haley with a little mud.

This is too much fun!

Helping daddy on the Bobcat.

Shay is clean, (and adorable)! For the moment.

This is how deep our pool is.

Shay's not clean anymore. These boys LOVE the mud. This was probably the worst two weeks of my life. There was mud in every crack and crevice of these boys. Not to mention, the mud and dirt in my house.

Yea!!! It's FINALLY over. The pool took 3 weeks to the day from start to finish. Here it is filling up.

The boys in the cave.

All the kids on the cave.

So pretty at night.

Great pic of Robby, except for the background of the wheelbarrow and trash behind.

Sammy fell and hit his head on the fireplace hearth. No stitches, thankfully, just butterfly tape for a week to hold it together.

Aubrey doing her schoolwork.

Proof, that daddy likes Homie.

Halloween 2009

Sammy wearing his Full Armour of God.

A pic of Robby's new, (I hesitate to say "first,") tattoo.
It is called a Chi-Rho. The "P" and the "X" are the Greek letters which begin the name Jesus Christ. The "A" and the "O" represent the first and last letter of the Greek alphabet, and symbolize Christ as being the first and the last as He says in his Word.

Desert sunset.

Sammy doing his schoolwork.

Two resting Turkey Vultures perched on our Joshua Tree. They migrate to Mexico for the winter.

Another Dodger Game.

Referral

2009-10-13T20:46:00.001-07:00

I am happy to announce that we have received and accepted a referral of a precious 11mo baby girl named Saron. Lord willing, Saron will make it home to our family. Each one of our children is a blessing to us; and we hope and pray that the Lord chooses to bless us once more with this precious child.

The rainy season is over and the Ethiopian courts have re-opened today after a six-week closure. Please join us in praying that our court date will come soon, and that we will pass court on the first try.

More info. to come as I get it.

Answered Prayer

2009-09-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

Sammy and I got our confirmation that we are in the right place with our adoption. God so graciously answered our prayers Saturday evening, and revealed to us his providence. Our family was eating dinner at In-n-Out Burger when a man walked by with two children. I knew he was Ethiopian. I asked God for the courage to approach him, because I am NOT the type to ever do such a thing. God literally led me to that man and spoke through me asking if he was from Ethiopia. He said yes! We talked and all the while I was trembling inside; I knew this was not a chance meeting. I asked him if these were his children. He answered, "God is good. These are my children." I asked him what their names were and he said "This is my son. His name is Adonai. And this is my daughter, El Shaddai." I knew right then that God had led us to this man and his children. We exchanged numbers and we will be keeping in touch. Who would have thought that there would be an Ethiopian living in our small and un-cultured town. I would have never imagined.

Sammy and I, and our children, and my mom, went home praising and thanking God. We couldn't believe what had just happened.

What are the odds of us meeting an Ethiopian in our small town? What are the odds of me guessing that this man is Ethiopian? (For those of you who know me, you would already know the odds of me approaching a complete stranger and asking him if he's Ethiopian are pretty much zero to none.) Of all the countries in Africa, what are the odds of him being from Ethiopia? And what are the odds of his children's names being Adonai, meaning God Most High; and El Shaddai, meaning The All Sufficient One. Adonai occurs 434 times in the Old Testament, and Shaddai 48 times. It seems so silly now. How could I have doubted the All Sufficient One, the God Most High.

And those of you who know Your name will put their trust in You,

For you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You
~Psalm 9:10

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for so blatantly answering our prayers. Thank you for your never-ending love and your faithfulness... no matter how thick-headed we are in our earthliness.

~~~~~~~~~

Our agency director will be arriving in Ethiopia on Saturday. She will be checking on the children and the open cases as well as dropping off donations. But we wait in great anticipation as she will be bringing home with her, Lord willing, our referral. Please pray that the Lord be with her in her travels and that she can accomplish everything that she has set out to do while she is there.

On the Verge of Giving Up...

2009-09-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

I don't even know how to start this post besides just getting right to the point. I am on verge of giving up on the adoption. I just don't feel any family support. Our friends support us half-heartily. I can tell they want to support us, but don't want to see us get hurt again. Of course, my online, adoptive-mom friends, Christian and non-Christian, support me 100 percent. That's just not enough, and it leaves me feeling like I'm the only one wanting a child that no one else wants or wants to work for. I guess I am the only one who wants this and most everyone else I know is just appeasing me.

While in the process with Shay, I became very close to God and my faith grew immensely. (We began the process to adopt Shay so that little Sammy could have a sibling close in age.) Months later, I felt a tug in my heart, a Holy nudge, to adopt purely for no other reason at all then to glorify God. Sammy did not share the desire to have more children, so I started praying. A year later, Sammy's heart changed when we saw Josi's pic.

So here we are... Josi has been gone for almost nine months. Soon after Josi died, we started on another adoption as we did not want things to end this way. Two agencies and seven months later, we are back to square one. Is it that we are not meant to adopt again? Was us being led to Josi not really God's leading? Was all of this in vain? Waisted time? Waisted money? Waisted love?

I have never considered myself a strong person, and I don't know if losing Josi has made me any stronger. I feel very weak. I feel like I am at God's mercy, which is a good thing and right where I would want to be; but I just don't feel any of the support in my own home anymore. Sammy is done with adopting. He has told me multiple times that he is fed up with it all. Who can blame him. Not only have we suffered greatly with losing our daughter, but we have lost tens of thousands of dollars. We do believe that our money, like everything else, is not our own but God's. But I can see how this can put a horrible taste in one's mouth with regard to adoption and the risks involved. I mean, why would anyone in their right mind want to do this again!?!? My husband didn't at first, but had agreed, I believe mostly because he knew it would break my heart not to. After all, he understands, that children are a gift from God. He is not fed up with children, let me make that clear. He is fed up with the process, with agencies, and foreign-country-adoption red tape. Even the girls have expressed to me recently that they really don't want to adopt again. I know that they don't want to see mommy sad anymore, but it makes my heart break knowing that my family has been so wounded by Josi's adoption and death, that they don't see God in it anymore.

So many people are asking if we are still going to continue down this road now after losing the Ethiopian girls. They want to know why we don't see this as a sign that we are not supposed to have any more children. I am tired. Lord knows Sammy is tired. We are all tired. There are times, a lot of times, when I want to quit. But then, what do I do with this burning desire, whom I believe is from God, to have more children. What do I do with this knowledge that there is a child in this world that is meant to be ours. I guess I can just tuck it all under the rug and move on with my life.

I just don't know what I will do with myself if I give up. Will I ever get over it? I do know that I will forever not feel complete. I will feel like I had a mission that I didn't accomplish. I know if it is meant to be, then it will happen. But I believe it isn't going to happen if we give up. If we forgo God's will, then we will miss out on the abundant blessings that God so graciously supplies us when we obey his will.

Please pray with me that this adoption will move forward soon. I know that God leads us out of our comfort zones. He wants to stretch us and guide us down the road less traveled. I want to go the distance, but I want my family to be behind me.

Please, I am desperately asking for prayer...

Sad News...

2009-08-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

We lost our referral last week. The girls' birth mother came to the orphanage and came and got them. While I rejoice that they have been reunited with their birth mother, I am also heartbroken that they won't be our children. As much as we all tried not to get too attached to them, it was still difficult to accept. I have spent many hours daydreaming of them in our home, calling me mommy, running around our house like the other kids. I know that God's ways and reasons are beyond our understanding, and I actually take comfort in that with the knowledge that all things are done by him for the good and growth of God's kingdom.

...and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose ~Romans 8:28

We are waiting for a new referral...

the treasure of Jesus... Freed to visit orphans

2009-08-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Jesus has visited us in our affliction . . .

He has freed us to visit orphans in theirs...

I took this from lifesong's blog.

Playing Catch Up Part 2 - Boys' Birthdays!

2009-07-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

Happy 3rd Birthday to Shay Mateo.

Shay's birthday was June 6 and we had a small party at home for Shay. He loved his balloons, his cake, and of course his presents. He was in heaven getting all the attention for one whole day!

My handsome big boy!

Best friends!

Now that's utilizing both presents.

Family photo

Happy 5th Birthday to Sammy.

Since Sammy turned 5, he had a party. Lots of family and friends came to celebrate. Since I didn't get permission from all the parents to post their kids on my blog, I am only posting a few pics from the party.

Sammy had a Disney Cars' Party. He had a great big bounce house with a huge water slide attached. Sammy wasn't quite ready for the water slide, but he sure enjoyed the bounce house.

Everyone else loved the water slide, including Daddy and Shay!

The Birthday Boy!

Shay, cousin Caleb, and Sammy

Sammy and Grandma

Sammy's new bike!

Uncle Dino and Sammy

Grandma and Caleb.

Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day to Daddy!

I got Sammy this gorgeous handmade, sterling silver necklace from Junkposse for a combo birthday/Father's Day present. It has a cross where Ethiopia is located, and Jeremiah 29:11 on the back. I loved it so much, that I ordered one for me too. (When our Ethiopian girls are older, we will give these to them.) Tracy Hanson is an amazing person and donates her time to help adoptive families to raise funds for their adoptions.

Up close and personal

Last, but never least... Happy Birthday Robby!!!

July 15th was Robby's 20th birthday. I cannot even believe that I have a 20 year-old son. Thank goodness I don't feel as old as his age makes me.
When your 20, you light your own candles

Talk about handsome!!!

Playing Catch Up - Hartland Homeschool Camp

2009-07-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

At the end of May, we went to a family homeschool retreat at Hartland Christian Camp in the Sequoia mountains. It was the best camping trip I think we have ever taken. I can't wait until next year.

Here are pics in random order.

Favorite Foto Friday

2009-07-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

Just received this...

To read Josi's name-in-the-sand tribute, click here.

To read more about Names in the Sand, click here.

Hypocrite...

2009-07-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

That's what I feel like these days. My faith is so strong when things are going well; but when things aren't going the way I want them to go... my faith falters and I question everything. It's so easy to say that God is in control. But to actually live that way is so hard. Though I know it isn't true, it feels like God has left me high and dry over the last few weeks and months. I struggle to feel his presence. I miss you Jesus.

I am having a friend redo my blog. It's hard to come on here and post while all of Josi's pics are here--it just brings back too many emotions. I'm not sure how to celebrate Josi's life on this blog, or even here at home for that matter. I don't want to make a shrine; but at the same time, I don't ever want to forget her. God brought her into our lives for a reason. She most definitely has changed each and every one in our family. Her life was no mistake as she touched so many.

Our adoption is crawling by. We have been waiting for a court date for over 13wks now. I'm not sure what's going on w/the Ethiopian staff, but our agency is doing everything they can to find out just what is going on with our case. In the meantime though, we have received many pics of our girls from other families travelling to pick up their children. That is such a nice blessing, and it does keep me going especially on the hard days, which are more often than not these days.

This is my new favorite song. Struggling with my emotions and my faith these last few months has been sort of a rude awakening for me. There is no question in my mind that God is in complete control of my life and he only wants the best for me. I just wish I could understand him more. I really thought that God wasn't going to leave me hanging again after he took Josi from me. I felt like we deserved a smooth process with this adoption and that God was going to give it to us. How arrogant of me to assume this.

(If you watch the video, be sure to click on the "HQ" in the right bottom corner. It will improve the video quality.)

Josi's Last Pic, Prom, and Pee Wee T-Ball

2009-05-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

I received a new pic of Josi. I'm not sure if this was the last photo taken of her before her death, but it very well could have been. This was taken to be used for her 2nd DNA test, which never happened. That is my precious girl, so full of life.

Robby went to his girlfriend, Lauren's, prom two weeks ago. My son really cleans up well, doesn't he. I took so many pics of him, I actually started to make him mad, (and it takes a lot to make him mad.) I couldn't help it. I've haven't seem him dressed this nicely in a few years. Lauren looked gorgeous as well. Don't they make an adorable couple?

After the prom, I guess the seniors were going to have a Nerf-gun fight. Thankfully, we had some of those on hand. I love this pic of them... Mafia Style. The cross in the background is just so fitting.

Sammy is playing Pee Wee T-Ball this Spring. He is LOVING it. We signed him up on two teams because each team plays only once a week for one hour. For 3-5 year olds, one hour at a time is all their attention span can handle. So here are some pics of Sammy on his Saturday team, The Dodgers. GO DODGERS!

Here are some miscellaneous pics of the kids I've taken over the last few weeks, in no particular order.

REFERRAL

2009-04-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Sammy and I have officially accepted the referral of two beautiful sisters, ages approx. 3 and 6 years old. We are overjoyed!!! More info to come as I promise to post as I get it.

Lord willing, they will come home in approximately 6 months.

I wish that I could post their pics; but in an effort to protect their children, Ethiopian law forbids us to post their pics until they are officially our girls--meaning we pass court.

... the hunger for a faith that assures

2009-03-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

You have led me to the sadness

I have carried this pain

on a back bruised, nearly broken

I'm crying out to You

I will sing of Your mercy

that leads me through valleys of sorrow

to rivers of joy

when death, like a gypsy

comes to steal what I love

I will still look to the heavens

I will still seek your face

but I fear You aren't listening

because there are no words

just the stillness

and the hunger

for a faith that assures

I will sing of Your mercy

that leads me through valleys of sorrow

to rivers of joy

alleluia, alleluia

while we wait for rescue

with our eyes tightly shut

face to the ground using our hands

to cover the fatal cut

though the pain is an ocean

tossing us around, around, around

You have calmed greater waters

higher mountains have come down

I will sing of Your mercy

that leads me through valleys of sorrow

to rivers of joy

I will sing of Your mercy
that leads me through valleys of sorrow

to rivers of joy
alleluia, alleluia

alleluia, alleluia

Birthdays Times FOUR

2009-03-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

I apologize for taking so long to make a blog post. So many have asked how we are doing as most check on our blog for updates. I have definitely been in a funk. I am not feeling "bloggy" lately and to be honest, I don't know if I will continue this blog.

Our adoption is coming along. There were some issues right after we signed on with our first agency and we decided to pull out. (No fault of the agency whatsoever. In fact, they were wonderful.) We have signed on with another agency and are now waiting for a referral.

How am I doing? Well, I am doing okay. I am still having hard days and hard moments, but for the most part, I am doing okay. I think my biggest issue is fear. Fear that what's left of my heart will be destroyed beyond repair. I know that's not possible with God, but I can't help but humanly feel that way.

God is my refuge, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:10

Aubrey's 10th birthday was on February 23. Finally two-digits!!! The big "One-Oh." She had lots of fun. Daddy took her to the rodeo for a special date and then she got to have a "Webkins" slumber party the following week. Between the rodeo, her actual birthday, and her slumber party; I think her birthday lasted two-whole weeks. It's still so hard to believe that she's my baby girl. It feel like yesterday that I brought her home from the hospital; all six pounds of her.

Daddy and Aubrey on their way to the National PBR Rodeo.

Two new WEBKINS!!!

Webkins Cake

Aubrey and a few of her friends along with Shay and Sammy.

My birthday was on March 2. I won't say how old I am. I'll let you all guess. My kids and husband, made is special, like they always do.

Mom with her eyes closed.

Mom with her eyes closed... again.

Josi's birthday would have been on March 5. Josi would have turned six years old. I did have the pleasure of spending her last birthday with her in Guatemala. We had a big party with a pinata that was bigger than me! She loved every minute of it. Here is a video clip of that memorable day.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I do have a lot of video of Josi while she was in the bathtub. That was the only time she came out of her shell with me. She understood what was going on and who I was, but still she was very shy with me.

Haley's 12th birthday was on March 18. We had a small celebration at home. She received what she asked for, which was an ipod. She did pay for half of it. Besides the fact that she has grown like a weed this year, (her shoe size is now bigger than mine!) Haley is becoming such a beautiful young lady both inside and out.

Shay is really catching on to this whole 'birthday business.' After celebrating two birthdays in February, and three birthdays in March, this kid knows whats going on and how to sing it. Of course he knows that after the song is time to eat cake.

Great pic of Haley and the boys.

Haley and 'the ipod'

While I'm Waiting and Adoption Announcement

2009-01-27T16:03:00.001-08:00

The song While I’m Waiting by Jim Waller, was featured in the movie Fireproof, (which was a fantastic movie, by the way.) [It came out on video today. I suggest you buy a copy and watch it with your spouse. I think it’s safe to say that it will change your marriage and your life. It will be the best $20 you'll have spent in a long time.]

It’s so easy to take a song and fit it in to your situation, especially a Christian song. When I hear the song now, I can only think of myself. Selfish, I know. But in my defense, it is a self-centered song.

I'm waiting,
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

Well, God is working miracles again. For months now, I have been praying for Sammy's heart to change yet again so that we can adopt another child. (After Josi was to come home, we would still have had one more seat available in our family vehicle.) My heart has been in Ethiopia for a long time now. Really, ever since I was a little girl, I imagined travelling to Africa and bringing home a starving child. (I know now it’s not about me saving a child.) Since we lost Josi, my husband had agreed to one more son or daughter. He agreed that we should look here in the US. I was okay with that, but kept praying for his heart to soften for an Ethiopian child. Well it didn't take very long and not only did he say yes to Ethiopia, he said yes to TWO children.

So we have sent in our application to Children's House International and have begun the paperchase. We watched a DVD of waiting children and Sammy chose a little 7yo boy he would love to have as a son. (God is so good and so faithful. Thank you Jesus!!!) We are waiting on a little girl to become available so that we can bring home a daughter as well.

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

As we embark on this new adoption journey, I can’t help but wish I could just have my Josi back. When I think about all the work and preparation we have to do, I really just want to give up and quit. We literally have to start from scratch because our original homestudy is almost two-years old. (For Josi, we just had to do an update because last year everything in our homestudy was still current.) I hate having to think about telling everyone in our doctor’s office, and everyone else who doesn't know, what happened. I feel like a broken record sometimes, because it seems that everywhere we go, we run into someone who asks about Josi. And then when I tell them, they are so stunned and at such a loss for words, it becomes very awkward for the both of us. I can’t wait until everyone knows and then everyone will stop asking me when is our daughter coming home.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully,
I will wait
Yes, I will wait

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I am so scared that this isn’t really going to happen. In the meantime, we will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience.

Attempts at a family photo

2009-01-19T20:59:00.000-08:00

We had to send in a family photo along with our application to adopt at the agency we hope to use. These are our attempts. Not too bad in that it one took us less than a 1/2 dozen tries.

Woops, this one was an accident. Robby is in his favorite kind of clothes. I've got to hide those holey pants with a kid.

This one looks good and would work, except that Shay doesn't look too happy. We'll try again.

Wait, mom isn't in this photo. And Robby is telling Shaybear to smile.

Almost perfect, except that Aubrey is looking the other way.

Aubrey is looking great, but now Shay isn't looking at the camera.

Finally, everyone is looking forward and smiling.

And you can't tell that Robby is wearing his "comfey" clothes.

~~~~~~~~

Black Widows in January!

Black Widows are very much alive and well here in Southern California, even in January. This one was living in our patio furniture.

She was at least two-inches long.

Here she is after the "shoe squish." Don't want to squish too hard or else it will be a gooey mess that I will not clean up.

Check out the hour-glass on her belly.

~~~~~~~~

Aubrey having a late-night waffle snack after a nice bath.

Oh how we love being a homeschool family.

Here is Haley doing her English, quite comfortably.

A Thank You and an Update

2009-01-07T22:03:00.000-08:00

I am so very far behind in answering everyone's emails, phone calls, cards and letters. I know that we are on all of your minds and hearts still; and we so much appreciate all of your prayers, condolences and well wishes. I cherish every blog post and "we're still praying for you" email. The connection I feel with all of you is so strong that I wish I could give you all a hug and say thank you personally.

We are all doing so much better. I still have hard days, but they are much easier than they were. There are mostly just hard moments throughout the day now. Anything can trigger them. In fact, I bet I could win an award for going through so many emotions in one day. I can go from peaceful to sobbing to pissed-off in about 10 seconds flat.

I am waiting on a package from Josi's attorney that contains some of Josi's favorite things: dolls, toys, clothes, etc. I CAN'T WAIT to get those. I just want to touch something that she touched, something that she loved and cherished. I want to hold her clothes and breathe them in. Maybe I will be able to smell her scent. It is hard to lose a child that you really never got to have and hold. But I know that it would have been so much harder if I had been given that pleasure. The pleasure I had, however, was to have been able to know her and love her for almost a whole year.

I will leave you with this video from my last visit.

Here is a glimpse of my Josi in all her sweetness.

Edited to add a beautiful poem that a blog reader left as a comment.
Thank you MoonDog!

I'll lend you for a little while a child of mine, God said.
For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she's gone.
It may be one or seven years- or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you and should her stay be brief.
You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
and from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love and not think the labor vain.
Nor hate me as I come to call to take her back again?

I fancied that I heard you say, "Dear God, Thy will be done.
For all the joy this child shall bring. The risk of grief I'll run".
I'll shelter her with tenderness. I'll love her while I may.
And for the happiness I've known. Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for her much sooner than I'd planned.
I'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

by Edgar Guest

Christmas Post, Finally

2009-01-06T11:38:00.001-08:00

It has taken me so long to finally make our Christmas post. We all had a wonderful Christmas. It's the first time in a long time that so many of us were together. I didn't do that great with the camera this year, so I don't have a lot of opening-present pics.

This photo with Santa was taken the day before we heard about Josi's death. Notice Shay is not in the photo. He was holding onto my leg, SCREAMING, when I snapped the photo.

Christmas morning

Sammy, opening MY present!

My mom

My brother, Dino, hugging his oldest daughter, Sarah.

I love his shirt!!!

My nephew, Caleb.
My brother and his kids: Tony, Sarah, Joey, and Gina.

Late Christmas eve at our house; me, Aubrey, Sammy, Tony, Haley, Gina (wearing Shreck ears,) Sarah, Tina, Joey, and Dino.

One Year Anniversary Post and Snow

2008-12-29T07:20:00.000-08:00

December 27th marked the one year anniversary of our meeting Josi in Guatemala. We flew to Guatemala City the day before and landed in the evening. We were able to get a good night's rest before meeting our daughter for the first time. When she walked in the hotel room, I could have sworn right then she was an angel. I could not believe how absolutely beautiful she was. She was scared and crying, but quickly stopped when we gave her a few Christmas presents. We signed the POA that morning, and then spent the next few days at the hotel with her.

It always felt like a dream to me, Josi's adoption. Sammy and I seeing her photo on the photolisting December 23rd, praying and deciding to adopt her on the 24th (which was a miracle,) and flying to Guatemala on the 26th. In between that time was Sammy's company Christmas party, heading out to the store on Christmas Eve to buy a few gifts and clothes for Josi, hosting and cooking and visiting with family and friends, Christmas with five children, and packing to leave the country. Talk about a whirlwind. All the while my head was spinning. And if my head was spinning like that, I can only imagine what was going through Sammy's mind. (I had been wanting to adopt again for a year, but Sammy kept saying no.) But we both new that this was God's will. There was no question about that. We believe that God led us to her photo, guided us and told us what we needed to do. It's amazing what happens when you put your trust in Him. At that level of faith, you don't even think or move, God does it all for you.

I do know that God has his reasons for doing things, and that I am incapable of understanding why. As much as I still can't help but question all of this, and the pain can be unbearable at times; I do have peace because I feel in my heart that we did what we had been called to do.

These photos were taken right after Josi came to our room. She was so scared and precious. I wanted to hold her so bad, but didn't want to scare her more.

~~~~~

A couple of weeks ago we got an awesome snow storm. It was so fun to watch it happen. When it was done, it was a gorgeous sight. It snows here probably once or twice a year, and it's always a big deal when it happens. But we haven't had snow like this in 14 years. It was very cool!!!

Our front yard before the storm
Yay, it's snowing!
The snowflakes were as big as quarters!
Our front yard about four hours later.
Our back yard.

Catching up...

2008-12-26T17:03:00.000-08:00

I am way behind in my posting. I will be catching up over the next few days.

On the 20th we attended Sammy's company Christmas party. As always we had a wonderful time. It was at Disney's Grand Californian hotel, so Mickey and Minnie made an appearance to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Neither Sammy nor Shay really wanted anything to do with either of them. Shay agreed to see them as long as daddy was holding him.

~~~~~~~~

It is still very hard to accept that Josi is gone. Christmas made it harder in some ways but easier in others. Now that the holidays are just about over, we have to decide what to do with all of Josi's clothes and things. I am not looking forward to that at all. It seems like yesterday, I was so happily filling the drawers with her clothes in great anticipation.

Sammy and I have talked and both agree that we cannot let it end this way. Lord willing, we are hoping to pursue another adoption in the future. We are not sure from where yet; but we will be looking into adopting from the foster care system here in the US.

A Video to Share

2008-12-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

I cannot put into words how much every one's comments and prayers have helped us get through this very dark time. The outpouring of love to our family has been overwhelming in the best way. I am reading every single comment and post as they come in from this blog and the adoption boards I frequent. They have been what is keeping me together and keeping my mind from wandering to the dark place where my daughter and a beautiful loving family was murdered. I find that my hardest times is when I have nothing to read (blog comments,) or search for, (details on the murder.) It is so easy to dwell on what what has happened and what will never be.

This video was put together by a dear friend of mine, Tammy. She recently, after a two-year process, brought her son Robbie home from Guatemala. Tammy, I love you too dear sister, and don't you feel guilty for one minute. My daughter is spending eternity dancing with Jesus. What more could I ask for? Thank you so much Tammy! We will cherish it forever. I can't wait to get the DVD and watch it here on the big screen.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I am so very grateful for the times I got to spend with Josi. I am angry at myself for cancelling my visit trip last month. But I only did so because we were to be together forever this month. I know she is here with me; but better than that, she is with her Heavenly father who promises no more pain, no more fear, no more tears. I take so much comfort in knowing this. It makes the pain of losing her so much easier to take.

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

2008-12-09T17:26:00.000-08:00

When tomorrow starts without me,

And I'm not there to see,

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me:

~~~

I wish you wouldn't cry

The way you did today,

While thinking of the many things,

We didn't get to say

~~~

I know how much you love me,

As much as I love you,

And each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too:

~~~

But when tomorrow starts without me,

Please try to understand,

That an angel came and called my name,

And took me by the hand.

~~~

And said my place was ready,

In heaven far above,

And that I'd have to leave behind

All those I dearly love.

~~~

But when I walked through heaven's gates,

I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,

From His great golden throne,

~~~

He said, "This is eternity.

And all I've promised you.

Today your life on earth is past,

But here life starts anew."

~~~

"I promise no tomorrow,

But today will always last,

And since each day's the same way

There's no longing for the past.

~~~

"So when tomorrow starts without me,

Don't think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here, in your heart.

~~~

Author Unknown

2008-12-08T13:47:00.000-08:00

I am Kelly, posting on behalf of Carla.

Carla says she cannot express how thankful they are and how much love they feel as a result of all of your posts and comments. Your kind words, encouragement, and good deeds (including those generous souls that have donated toward Josi's Memorial) have helped more than you could ever know. Understandably they are deeply grieving the loss of beautiful Josi and trying to make sense of as much as humanly possible yet trusting God for all things we will never understand. She knows without God in her life, things would be so much more bleak.

Many have asked for more details surrounding the deaths, but little is known outside of news reports and newspaper articles. Unfortunately Josi and the entire family were murdered during a home invasion which included the foster mother's sister, her husband, their young two children, and Josi. Possible motives and details of the deaths are still only hearsay as the media isn't always an accurate source of information.

We are comforted knowing this family loved Josi and was providing a loving home for her while they waited for the completion of the adoption. This and knowing even as Josi was taking her last breath, our amazing Lord had her wrapped in his loving arms.

~~~

Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”(Luke 18:15-17 )

The saddest news

2008-12-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

This is Ruthanne. I'm posting for Carla because her heart is too sad to even think about posting this.
Last night, Carla got the phone call that terrifies every parent---her sweet, beautiful daughter, Josi, had been killed. Carla will give you details as she can, but for now, please pray for this family. They were close to bringing Josi home and are as heart-broken as any family can be.
Josi's new birth certificate had just come through and according to Guatemalan law, she is considered their daughter and sister---but she has been their daughter and sister in their hearts for much longer than that.
We know that Josi is twirling and dancing and smiling in heaven right now without pain or hurt. She died knowing that a family loved her unconditionally and was preparing a place for her in their homes and in their hearts. What we didn't know was that Josi's Father was also preparing a place for her and she is in His arms right now. In the meantime, He needed someone with a big heart to love and care for Josi and there was no better woman for that job than Carla. She has a heart for parentless children like no one I have ever met.

Please pray for Carla and her family and comment here so that they can read your kind words when they are able to.

This-n-That

2008-11-30T21:47:00.000-08:00

First Order of Business: The Raffle. This morning I printed out 21-named tickets to be placed in the Tupperware bowl. Then I recruited my kids to do all the work. They loved it!

The kids were so excited to see who the winner was. Sammy picked the winning ticket.

The winner of the Raffle is spelled: M a r y A n n!!!

Case Update: So far, we have a RENAP birth certificate, (this is the most time-consuming hoop to jump through in the birth certificate retrieval process, which normally takes anywhere from three weeks to three months.) I am praying that our case will make it's way to the US Embassy by the end of this week. We have been told that once it is submitted to the embassy that pickup time is usually in about three weeks. So far, there is still a possibility that Josi could be home for Christmas.

The Boys: Sammy has been having a lot of fun with his guitar. Shay is allowed to strum on it only under supervision as he tends to unscrew the screws at the end of the arm that make the strings tighter or looser. (Can you tell I'm not well versed in musical instrument terminology.) Shay was thrilled when he got to strum along with Sammy for a song. Of course, I had to get this on video. I love the way Shay just "cut it loose." Also love the fact that he closes his eyes when he sings. He's a very passionate child.

Thanksgiving: We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It was on the smaller side this year, only 14 of us. The food was great, but the company and fellowship was even better. Since I was hosting, I didn't get a too many photos, but did manage to get some of us girls in a few posed shots.

Amanda (my niece,) and my mom

Tina (my sis,) Amanda, me, and Mom

Amanda. She's beautiful inside and out!

Aubrey, Mandy, and Haley

(My girls got haircuts a couple of weeks ago. Aubrey went really short and Haley got bangs. I think they both turned out great.)

This is Sammy leading the prayer at the kid's table. Sammy has made a complete turn-around lately with praying. A few months ago he was too shy to pray, now he will pray anywhere, anytime.

Helping Dad: Sammy is building plan cabinets for Edison in our garage/workshop. He loves when he gets this type of side job. A job he can do at home while still spending time with the family. He even gets a cook at his disposal--Chef Mom.

Here are some photos of both Sammys hard at work. Little Sammy just loves helping daddy.

Raffle Reminder and Wordfull Wednesday

2008-11-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

I want to remind everyone about the raffle we are having. We are raffling off a beautiful, collectible Lee Middleton baby doll to raise money to help with our adoption expenses. Here is the original post, "Raffle" if you want to read the details of this limited-edition baby doll.

Here is a photo of the doll it it's original Walrus suit.

Here is the same doll dressed up as a baby girl. As you can see it can either be a gorgeous baby boy or a beautiful baby girl.

If you would like to enter to win this beautiful doll, you can purchase a raffle ticket at $5 each, or buy five tickets for $20. Just click on the "Donate" button on my sidebar.
If you would like to send me a check, just email me at sweetpea31897@msn.com.
The raffle will close on December 1.
The winner will be chosen at random.
(Sorry, shipping limited to the US only.)

Also, please check out my friend's blog, Shrum Family Adventures. They are also having a raffle to help offset their adoption expenses. Don't miss checking it out. You'll be glad you did.

We are having so much fun preparing for Josi's homecoming. It still hasn't really sunk in that we are out of PGN, but I'm sure as the pick-up time draws closer, and I start really stressing about having the house ready, it will sink in pretty darn fast.

I have been neglecting my camera a bit these days, but I did manage to get a few snapshots of the kids at the harvest festival at our church on Halloween, and a few others here and there.

The boys in the Superman jammies.

A few pics of my handsome son, Robby.

Please leave a comment if you would like him to shave off his beard. Maybe if he gets enough comments, he will actually do it. Lord knows, he's not listening to my begging and pleading.

Sammy and Shay at the harvest festival.

Daddy in his Halloween hat.

The girls just before we left.

AFTER SIX VERY LONG MONTHS IN PGN...

2008-10-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

Praise God!

WE ARE OUT!!

We are praying for a Christmas homecoming!!

It would be a miracle...

but I'm a believer.

RAFFLE

2008-10-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

In an effort to offset our adoption expenses AND prepare for Josi's homecoming, (which means downsizing our *stuff*,) I thought that it would be fun to have a raffle.

Those who know me know that I love baby dolls. We have quite a few in the house, really too many. My girls still play with them occasionally, but not as much as they used to. Now that I am in need of space here at home, I have decided to find new homes for my collection.

This beautiful baby in a Walrus suit is one of 1000 made by the Lee Middleton Doll Co. This doll has never been played with, although it is perfectly fine and safe to use as a play baby. It weighs about 3lbs and feels just like a real baby. This doll will make a perfect Christmas gift for a little girl as she will have the most life-like baby doll ever. The face on this baby doll is used for both boy and girl babies by Lee Middleton. If you put a dress on this baby doll, it will look just like a girl.

I purchased it a few years ago and is still have the original box. You cannot find it anywhere now; and if you happen to stumble upon it, like on ebay, it is selling for around $200. It is signed by the LM artist, Reva Schick, and is No. 599.

If you would like to enter to win this beautiful doll, you can purchase a raffle ticket at $5 each, or buy five tickets for $20. Just click on the "Donate" button on my sidebar.

If you would like to send me a check, just email me at sweetpea31897@msn.com.

The raffle will close on December 1.

The winner will be chosen at random.

(Sorry, shipping limited to the US only.)

FFF - Josi shaved her eyebrows off!

2008-10-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

If you get our Christmas card this year and wonder why Josi looks different, but just can't put a finger on it, you'll know why after you read this post.

I got an email from Josi's foster family informing me that Josi had gotten a hold of her teenage foster-sister's eyebrow trimmer and proceeded to trim her own eyebrows--almost completely off.

Her foster mom is so wonderful to tell me things like this and I am so thankful for that. She took some pics for me so that I can put them in her scrapbook/lifebook for her. (And to think, I could have missed this.)

Here is Josi with her eyebrows missing. She has katsup on her face because she was eating McDonald's.

I cannot wait for her to come home!!! The web cam visits and occasional pics are what keeps me going. Thirty-five more days until I get to see her again.

That is the eyebrow trimmer she is holding in her hand.

She is looking quite proud of herself, isn't she?

I LOVE this photo. I can't wait until the time comes where she feels safe enough, once she's home with us, to reveal her goofy personality. It's so nice to know that she has a sense of humor.

Even though she is still adorable without eyebrows, I do hope they grow back at least a little, because I do plan to take a good photo of her for our Christmas card this year when I am there next month.

This must be her intoxicated-with-pride face.

Samson & Delilah--The Bible Story put to Song--by Tim Hawkins, of course

2008-10-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

My girls' favorite pastime is to watch videos of Tim Hawkins on the computer. They were browsing GodTube the other day and saw that there was a new one. Tim Hawkins is a really talented comedian, with good clean jokes. We all enjoy watching his videos and songs.

If you don't know the Old Testament story of Samson and Delilah, you can get a quick overview here. Here's his latest video:

Case Update and Last Camping Trip of the Season.

2008-10-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

PGN UPDATE: We are back in as of October 3!!!

This last weekend, we spent four days in San Diego at the KOA Campgrounds. Our family friends came along in their new travel trailer and we had some great times together.

Shay and his best friend... daddy, on the day we arrived.

Caught you, eating on the job.

Time for roasting marshmallows and making s'mores. Mmmm... Yummy.

Sammy's marshmallow is a little overdone.

The kids love the recumbent bikes, or "layer bikes," as little Sammy calls them.

Haley taking Homie for a ride.

We rented a four-pedaled bike. We all had fun pedaling Shay around the campsite.

Trying out the ripstick. I was too chicken to actually try it without holding on to Sammy.

The fearless Shay tried it.

He actually balanced his body on it while it was propped up like that.

Daddy tried it and got the hang of it quickly.

See...

Is he cute or what?

Sammy and daddy played lots of ball.

Here's a clip of our future pro-baller

He got so good, he didn't even need the tee anymore.

It was so nice for the kids to get out and play in the good old outdoors.

The boys rolled down that hill I don't know how many times. Every time I see this photo, I can't help but think of the song at the beginning of Little House on the Prairie.

Aubrey looking cute on Shay's trike.

Josselyn, Rusty, and Haley.

Aubrey and Janelle.

The pool there is great. It is a salt-water pool. So much better than chlorine.

Michael and Sammy.

This was hilarious. Shay was in a time-out in the motor home and I went to take a pic of him crying and carrying on; but when he saw the camera, he stopped and said "cheeeeeese," then continued his time-out tantrum.

The boys being goofy.

Sammy dancing and Shay's boo boo.

Update on Josi's Case and September Recap.

2008-09-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the end of September already. I can't believe the year is almost over. It's already autumn. Gosh, it feels like yesterday summer had just begun.

I was contemplating whether or not to make a blog post without news of our case; but I decided to anyway. So just as I was uploading pics for this post, I got news. Unfortunately, not the news I was waiting for. The PGN has decided to give us another previo, (another kick-out,) this time for an illegible mark on our PA, (Pre-Approval from the US Embassy.) After I pulled myself together and said a prayer for patience and understanding, I am back finishing up my September Recap post. Anyway, our attorney has to get a new copy of our PA, have it translated, and then resubmit us to the PGN. We were really wanting her home by Christmas. Now, that is not possible. I do know that God our Father is in control of all things, and he has his reasons and timing beyond our understanding. My faith is in Him.

(This is a photo of Josi back in March.)

Last week, I was looking up airfare prices to Guatemala, (I do that quite often.) and stumbled upon a great fare, $319 round-trip , including tax. I didn't even have to beg, and Sammy said I could go! So I did it! I booked the flight to visit Josi. And... I'm going to bring little Sammy too. I am so excited! I wish so badly, especially now that we got another kick-out, that I could bring the rest of the gang; but it would just be too expensive. So I have rounded up Robby and the girls to watch Shay for the Friday and Monday that I will be gone, while daddy is at work. I am VERY nervous about leaving Shay. I have never left him overnight since he's been home. I do believe it will be a lot harder on me than it will be on him. He's going feel like he died and gone to heaven for four days without mean ole mommy telling him no every five minutes. I'm still not sure if this was the best idea; but I can't help it, I need to see my little girl again. It's been over six months since I've seen her and held her hand.

I did get to visit with Josi via Skype last week. It was the best visit yet. It is very hard to communicate with her, but there's not much to say to each other when she is singing and dancing for me. That is a language we can both understand. She was all dressed up in her princessa dress and singing a beautiful song to me in Spanish. She was also singing me songs in English. My girls knew the songs and were singing along with her. Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers' songs. I figure when she comes home, if she can't understand us, we can communicate through song. I can't get over this 5yo little girl singing songs that my girls know. Amazing.

She is amazing!

I am heartbroken that she won't be home for Christmas!!!

(This is a photo of Josi back in March.)

I got a new picture of our sponsored child, Mesfin. This is a photo of him taken in August. I can't believe how much healthier and happier he is looking as compared to the first couple of photos that I received of him. He has his arms wide open, and looks like he is waiting to welcome someone. I cannot help but see Jesus in this precious child. I looked up the meaning of his name, Mesfin Berhanu. Mesfin means *prince* or *duke*, and Berhanu means *guiding light.* This child may not be considered a prince in this world, but he is just as much as a prince as I am a princess to the King of Kings, our Heavenly Father.

I have fallen for this prince.

Here is Sammy and Caleb dressing up as explorers. The kids play this game called "Nigel Camp." It is a camp set up for young children that need to become more brave. The parents bring their timid children to this "Nigel Camp." The camp teaches the children survival skills and how to wrestle with tigers and other jungle animals. Aubrey is the instructor and Haley is the fierce Tiger. My kids have such vivid imaginations.

Here we are one evening eating out.

"Eating out" meaning eating out on our back patio.

I got out-voted. Sammy got his hair cut SHORT. This is one of the snapshots just before I took him in.

Here he is after the buzzer. He wanted spikes. So we obliged. Now he wants us to call him Spike. We obliged... again. (He has no shirt on because he was so itchy from all the hairs in his shirt.) It seems like his eyes got bigger and he grew two inches in height. Amazing what a haircut will do. I can't wait until it grows back in.

Shay, being his cute self. It doesn't matter what this child does. He is just cute. He's even cute when he's throwing a tantrum... honest.

Aubrey had 6 teeth pulled in two-weeks time. They were all baby teeth. We are preparing for major orthodontia work here.

Haley got braces on her front top teeth. She was so excited, until she felt the pain. Now she is wanting to do a "do over" and take it back.

Here are the girls being goofy.

Aubrey pretending to be mad.

Sweet Aubrey, she can never keep a straight face.

I LOVE MY GIRLS!!!

Sammy Unplugged

2008-09-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

Sammy saw a little guitar at a garage sale and had to have it. He's been strumming away, and singing, ever since.

The other day, I made reservations at a campsite for our family and for our family friends. They have a 9yo little girl who Sammy just adores, (did I mention he was girl crazy already?) Anyway here's a song about Janelle and him camping. (He is singing both about the river and the KOA campsite we go to. When he says "layer bike," he means the recumbant bikes that you rent at the KOA.)

Scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on pause to turn of the music.

Sammy is singing his River Blues song here.Can you tell he likes to go camping?

No more camping songs. Now he's singing about Pluto on the Mickey Mouse Christmas special.

Favorite Foto Friday... Meet Mesfin

2008-09-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

This little guy is Mesfin. He is around six years old and lives in an orphanage in Ethiopia. Both of his parents have died, and the distant relative that was caring for him, is no longer able. She brought him to the orphanage because she had heard it was Evangelical and wants him to be adopted by a Christian family.

We are sponsoring Mesfin through Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries . Because orphaned children are close to my heart, I specifically asked for an orphan to sponsor. The neatest thing about this sponsorship program is that we can actually send our sponsored-child packages; and they encourage a relationship with them. The photo below is one of the outfits we sent Mesfin. He said his favorite thing to do was play soccer, so we sent him his very own soccer ball along with three shirts with soccer balls on them and money for some new shoes.

We are so happy to be helping this child. I pray that we can continue to sponsor Mesfin until God leads him to his forever family.

Religion that pleases God the Father must be pure and spotless. You must help needy orphans and widows and not let this world make you evil. James 1:27 (Contemporary English Version)

I have posted this video before, but I will post it again for anyone who may have missed it. The statistics for orphans in this world is staggering. We can do something to help. Would you consider sponsoring a child? We pay $30 a month to provide for Mesfin's needs. Really, to us here in the U.S., $30 a month is nothing. How many of you spend that at Starbucks in a week? (I admit, I have been guilty of spending that much at Starbucks in a week's time.)

"Whenever you did it for any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me." Matthew 25:40 (Contemporary English Version)

i would gather children

Bittersweet. Missing my Josi.

WORSHIP is more than singing songs to God. Watch and be changed. I was.

Wordless Wednesday

An AMAZING must-watch video

Four months in pics...

Can We Offer Them Any Less?

New Blog Design and New Post coming up...

WE ARE HOME

Finding Peace Again...

Christmas 2009

Travel Dates

Christmas Photo Out-takes & Giveaway Info.

THE VERDICT IS IN.....

ONE MORE DAY!!!

One year ago on December 5, 2008...

Spend Less, Give More, LOVE LIKE JESUS

Kentucky and Thanksgiving

Happy Birthday Saron

COURT DATE!!!

Long Overdue Photo Update on My Family

Referral

Answered Prayer

On the Verge of Giving Up...

Sad News...

More Pics and Video of Josi

the treasure of Jesus... Freed to visit orphans

Playing Catch Up Part 2 - Boys' Birthdays!

Playing Catch Up - Hartland Homeschool Camp

Favorite Foto Friday

Hypocrite...

Josi's Last Pic, Prom, and Pee Wee T-Ball

REFERRAL

... the hunger for a faith that assures

Birthdays Times FOUR

While I'm Waiting and Adoption Announcement

Attempts at a family photo

A Thank You and an Update

Christmas Post, Finally

One Year Anniversary Post and Snow

Catching up...

A Video to Share

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

The saddest news

This-n-That

Raffle Reminder and Wordfull Wednesday

AFTER SIX VERY LONG MONTHS IN PGN...

RAFFLE

FFF - Josi shaved her eyebrows off!

Samson & Delilah--The Bible Story put to Song--by Tim Hawkins, of course

Case Update and Last Camping Trip of the Season.

Update on Josi's Case and September Recap.

Sammy Unplugged

Favorite Foto Friday... Meet Mesfin