Hypocrite...

That's what I feel like these days. My faith is so strong when things are going well; but when things aren't going the way I want them to go... my faith falters and I question everything. It's so easy to say that God is in control. But to actually live that way is so hard. Though I know it isn't true, it feels like God has left me high and dry over the last few weeks and months. I struggle to feel his presence. I miss you Jesus.

I am having a friend redo my blog. It's hard to come on here and post while all of Josi's pics are here--it just brings back too many emotions. I'm not sure how to celebrate Josi's life on this blog, or even here at home for that matter. I don't want to make a shrine; but at the same time, I don't ever want to forget her. God brought her into our lives for a reason. She most definitely has changed each and every one in our family. Her life was no mistake as she touched so many.

Our adoption is crawling by. We have been waiting for a court date for over 13wks now. I'm not sure what's going on w/the Ethiopian staff, but our agency is doing everything they can to find out just what is going on with our case. In the meantime though, we have received many pics of our girls from other families travelling to pick up their children. That is such a nice blessing, and it does keep me going especially on the hard days, which are more often than not these days.

This is my new favorite song. Struggling with my emotions and my faith these last few months has been sort of a rude awakening for me. There is no question in my mind that God is in complete control of my life and he only wants the best for me. I just wish I could understand him more. I really thought that God wasn't going to leave me hanging again after he took Josi from me. I felt like we deserved a smooth process with this adoption and that God was going to give it to us. How arrogant of me to assume this.

(If you watch the video, be sure to click on the "HQ" in the right bottom corner. It will improve the video quality.)

Josi's Last Pic, Prom, and Pee Wee T-Ball

I received a new pic of Josi. I'm not sure if this was the last photo taken of her before her death, but it very well could have been. This was taken to be used for her 2nd DNA test, which never happened. That is my precious girl, so full of life.

Robby went to his girlfriend, Lauren's, prom two weeks ago. My son really cleans up well, doesn't he. I took so many pics of him, I actually started to make him mad, (and it takes a lot to make him mad.) I couldn't help it. I've haven't seem him dressed this nicely in a few years. Lauren looked gorgeous as well. Don't they make an adorable couple?



After the prom, I guess the seniors were going to have a Nerf-gun fight. Thankfully, we had some of those on hand. I love this pic of them... Mafia Style. The cross in the background is just so fitting.

Sammy is playing Pee Wee T-Ball this Spring. He is LOVING it. We signed him up on two teams because each team plays only once a week for one hour. For 3-5 year olds, one hour at a time is all their attention span can handle. So here are some pics of Sammy on his Saturday team, The Dodgers. GO DODGERS!

Here are some miscellaneous pics of the kids I've taken over the last few weeks, in no particular order.

REFERRAL

Sammy and I have officially accepted the referral of two beautiful sisters, ages approx. 3 and 6 years old. We are overjoyed!!! More info to come as I promise to post as I get it.

Lord willing, they will come home in approximately 6 months.

I wish that I could post their pics; but in an effort to protect their children, Ethiopian law forbids us to post their pics until they are officially our girls--meaning we pass court.