I cannot put into words how much every one's comments and prayers have helped us get through this very dark time. The outpouring of love to our family has been overwhelming in the best way. I am reading every single comment and post as they come in from this blog and the adoption boards I frequent. They have been what is keeping me together and keeping my mind from wandering to the dark place where my daughter and a beautiful loving family was murdered. I find that my hardest times is when I have nothing to read (blog comments,) or search for, (details on the murder.) It is so easy to dwell on what what has happened and what will never be.
This video was put together by a dear friend of mine, Tammy. She recently, after a two-year process, brought her son Robbie home from Guatemala. Tammy, I love you too dear sister, and don't you feel guilty for one minute. My daughter is spending eternity dancing with Jesus. What more could I ask for? Thank you so much Tammy! We will cherish it forever. I can't wait to get the DVD and watch it here on the big screen.
I am so very grateful for the times I got to spend with Josi. I am angry at myself for cancelling my visit trip last month. But I only did so because we were to be together forever this month. I know she is here with me; but better than that, she is with her Heavenly father who promises no more pain, no more fear, no more tears. I take so much comfort in knowing this. It makes the pain of losing her so much easier to take.
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117 comments:
))))HUGS(((((
carla..
what a beautiful video... brings tears to my eyes.. praying for strength for all of you
alex
I absolutely love the video...thank you so much for sharing. Y'all are so strong...and even in the darkest moments of your life on this earth...you have eternal perspective. Thanks for challenging all of us!!
I just read your blog and want to say that I am so sorry! The video is beautiful! You ALL are in our thoughts and prayers.
Kayla Brazzel
Carla -
Tammy is so incredibly gifted at these isn't she! I just love her to pieces and I am so glad to call her friend!
God is a God of comfort. He will hold you in His arms. Even when the days are dark, He will hold you close.
Your sweet Josi was a precious, beautiful life cut tragically short. We will continue to lift you in prayer as you learn a "new normal".
Much love-
Kristi (bamagirl)
Carla,
The video is just beautiful. Please know you are not alone. We are all here for you.
xoxoxo
Lisa
We just read about your story, and we are so sorry to hear about your precious daughter and guardian angel, Josi. We pray that your family will find solace, comfort, and strength through the support of family, friends, and the adoption community during this time.
The Pownall Family (Drexel Hill, PA)
Carla & Family,
I just saw the video and what a precious child. I am so sorry for your loss and it is a coinsidence the we both are going through this. God will always be there for us. Please contact me when you get a chance.
What a sweet sweet video. I have not stopped thinking about Josie and your family since I heard the news. Every time I have felt frusturated with my dd this week I have remembered what you have been through and how precious our time here is. She will never be forgotton.
Carla and Family,
Thanks for sharing your video and your heart. Your faith is evident. It is impossible to understand why but to know that she is eternally with Jesus is a wonderful gift. I will continue to lift you and your family up in prayer.
Many Hugs,
LoriLBR
What a beautiful video of sweet Josi. I'm so sorry she is not with you and your family.
Best wishes,
kara
Our hearts break for your family. You are in our prayers.
My heart breaks for all of you. Keep the happy memories of Josi close to your heart.
Tammy did a wonderful job. The video brings back all those tears. She is a wonderful friend to many and I know her heart was filled with love (eyes filled with tears) for you and your daughter when making this.
We are still thinking of you every day and can't imagine how difficult this is for you and your family. I'm glad you find the comfort in knowing she is forever in His arms - safe, playing, happy and knowing your love as well.
Debra
Let the love of god shine down on you as he is the only one that knows our true destiny.
I shall pray for your family.
What a beautiful video of your beautiful Josi. I hope with time your pain will ease and your heart will start to heal. I will always remember Sweet Josi's face and how blessed she was to have such a loving family. My prayers are with you and your family.
Carla,
Our prayers continue to go out for your family and Josi's foster and birth families.
Today I opened your page to see if you had updated and my 3 year old DD glanced at my computer screen and saw Josi's picture in the header with her pink dress. She said "Mommy, she's a beautiful angel!" and I could only cry and agree.
My heart is broken for you and your family. We are about on the same time line for bringing our daughter home. I cannot imagine what you are feeling. I have passed along the story to everyone in my church here in Tennessee. Know that we are praying for your family. I love your heart for children. It bears witness with the same love I have in my heart for these children. I am blessed by your strength and courage. I certainly do not understand, but I know God does have a plan. Love you all very much. April and Greg Holleman, Hendersonville, TN
Oh Carla that was simply beautiful! I know you are crying and aching but I am so glad to know that it is with HOPE for the reunion you will all have with Josi in Heaven!
You've been on my thoughts and in my prayers lately. I can't imagine what this is like. Please know that I posted your blog on my blog in hopes to share your story and even to bring in more financial support. I hope it helps.
There is no word to describe how sorry I am for this tragedy. Susie Ferrick is one of my best friends and shared the news with me. Your entire family will remain in my prayers.
Susan Harkema
Mommy to 10 yr old bio twins, and a 4 yr old Guatemalan prince and a 2 yr. old Guatemalan princess.
Carla and Family,
I don't know you, but found a link to your blog on my friend Amanda Tomlin's blog ( I worked in a Guatemalan Orphanage with her) and just wanted you to know that my husband and I are praying for you and your sweet family. We are so sorry for your loss.
Carla and family, I am so sorry to hear about Josi. I was in Guatemala when I heard about this and then I read that it was a forum friend. My heart hurts for you, I am so sorry. I know that Josi is with God and dancing in Heaven. You will see her again one day and it will be forever. My prayers are with your family to get through these hard times.
God Bless
Continuing to pray for you and yours daily...
M from OK
I am not bery blog-savvy, and have looked a few times over the course of this week for a way to comment. My heart breaks for you, and sweet Josi, but I am in awe of your amazing faith. I pray for healing for you, and a comfort that passes all understanding. I know you don't know me - I am Mom to two girls from Korea, and I found your story through the Bethany forums. Please know that I am praying, even as I can't find the words.
bless you and your family Carla. thank you for sharing your hearts with all of us and this video. Through your blog, I feel like I know you and Josi, your faith and peace brings glory to God and rest to all of us. May you continue to receive His strength and gentle mercy. Above all, He loves you. Susie
What a sweet tribute to little Josie! My heart continues to go out to you, your family and everyone involved. I can not stop thinking about your little angel Josie. Angie
What a sweet video, not a day goes by where I don't think of your family and Josi, as I continue to pray for you and your family...May God bless you..
What a beautiful video of your precious little angel. Your friend did a wonderful job with it. Please know that even as time passess and the world moves on you, your family, Josi, the foster family, and Josi's birth family will forever be in my thoughts and prayers. As an adoptive mother myself, I can't imagine going through the loss you are experiencing and my heart continually breaks for you. Without faith, I don't know how people make it through such trying times. Just knowing that Josi is now a sweet little angel in heaven is such comfort. Her pain is over and she is full of life again. I will continue praying for you. Peace be with you.
Carla, That was beautiful!Josi was a precious angel here on earth and now she is a real true angel in heaven! You all are on my mind so many times daily and in our prayers daily too! Do not be angry at yourself! I was thinking the other day that God had stopped you from going to Guatemala in Nov. for a reason. He knew it would have been to much for you to have just been with her and then taken from you soon after! So I thank God that you did not go. You know I am here for you anytime you need to talk or need help with anything!
Carla,
What a beautiful video! My prayers are still with you. You are a true lady of faith even in your days of sorrow.
Carla,
This video tribute to your daughter is beautiful. I know that this is certainly a tough time, and a trying time, for your faith. Just keep reaching out to God like you have been, because I know He is the only one who will ever be able to comfort you. I'm praying for you, your husband, and all of your children.
The Smith Family in Maryland sends their deepest sympathies to Josi's biological family in Guatemala and your loving adoptive family here in the USA.
May she be an angel looking over all the children in Guatemala who wait to have families like you !
My goodness, she is a beautiful child. I bet she is the MOST beautiful angel in Heaven!!
You are constantly in my thoughts & prayers.
God bless,
Cindy
aka "Waiting4Celeste"
This is such a beautiful tribute to sweet little Josi. Carla, your family is in my mind all the time. I can't stop thinking about you guys. You are such a good example of faith!
What a beautiful video our your beautiful daughter!!
Please know that we continue to lift you up in our prayers!!!
Dawn
she is so precious and what a joy it is to know that in her short years here on earth she was loved so much by you. we will never know how much she felt that love even from across the world, but I do believe that they do. My heart is aching for you and I am thinking of you daily, praying that your eyes lift to Jesus now more than ever and you are comforted that she is resting safe in his arms tonight, no fear in her heart, just love.
Although I don't know you or your precious daughter, my heart is aching for you. Please know that I am praying for you.
I have followed your journey on the adoption forum and could not believe last week's post. There are simply no words to express my condolences. Josi is surely a beautiful angel. I know that she understands the great love you have for her and I am sure she will remain close to you.
You are in my prayers. Stay strong in Christ.
We don't know you, but we share in a love for adoption, and above that - Jesus. Keep in the Word, there is no better place to find what you are looking for. Praying for you, and deeply sorry for your loss. She (and all your children) are so beautiful.
I have thought about what to say for over 48 hours and nothing comes to mind because I can't find the words. If I were near you, I would hug you and pray for you. May God give you peace and may the memories of little Josi sustain you all until you meet again. Much love to you and your family from a fellow Guata "momma".
Lisa N.
Carla and family.
You don't know us, but we're fellowes in the adoption community. We cannot imagine the pain your family is in right now. Know that you are held in the prayers of many, and in the hands of God.
jessica
mom to 2--USA and Ethiopia
I just recently heard about your tragic loss and wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family. Josi is so beautiful and the video is so sweet. We have a daughter that we brought home from Guatemala in July 2007 so the children of Guatemala are special to us. I know Josi knew she was so loved by you and the rest of her family. I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling but you are thought of here in Birmingham, Al.
Hugs,
Carolyn
Beautiful slide show. I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I can not imagine what you are feeling. I know it is a comfort knowing that Josi is in a wonderful place now. I pray that God gives you peace through this hard time.
We're still here. We're still praying.
My heart is broken for you! May you be lifted up with God's love.
Praying for all of you. She could not be a more beautiful child. God has her, she's safe and she feels the love.
God bless you.
Melissa
Carla,
I know you don't me, but I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry about your sweet Josi. As many have said, there are no words. Please know I am praying for you and your family and thinking of all of you. Brenda
What a beautiful video of Josi. Her smile is one that will live forever. Please know that your in countless people's hearts and prayers. We are all sending you love right now.
Hugs
Stacey
She was a beautiful little girl, and so very lucky to have you and your family in her life, if even for a short time.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family and the family and loved ones in Guatemala in my prayers.
Loved you sharing such a special slideshow of your sweet daughter! We are still in shock and continue praying for you and your family. Though we don't know you on a personal level, I have followed your blog for months and know you are our sister in Christ! We are praying that God comforts you and your family, and He helps you figure out "how to" find what your new normal life will be. WE just can't imagine how you feel. Cheri and Donnie Harris
My heart is breaking for you and your family. I am so sorry!!!!!!!!
Your little girl is a beautiful angel.
Carla and family,
I found your blogsite through Guatadopt. I just want you to know I am praying for your whole family. I feel for you so much. You have a beautiful family. May God pour out his love and presence in your life in heavy doses.
Kelly
I have never read your blog or have meet your family, but something brought me to you today.
I cannot put into words how my heart aches for you and for the angel that was yours to be. Your faith is something that we all need to strive for daily,your courage is that of hero's. I will continue to pray for you and thoughs that have lost their lives aboard. Continue to belive that our Father is with you and yours and he holds her in that palm of his hand.
Shannon
What a beautiful video of your beautiful angel! I can just visualize her dancing in Heaven. She is just so very beautiful! I'm so very sorry for your loss, thousands are praying & mourning your loss along side you, we can't even begin to understand the pain you're feeling but are hearts are heavy. So sorry, I have no other words to give, wish I was there to hug you & hope you feel God's peace surround you. In Christ, a fellow adoptive mother - Stacy
Oh Carla, My heart is so breaking for you and your family. The video was absolutely a beautiful tribute to a truly beautiful angel. I wish I had words but know there aren't any other than please know your family is in our prayers.
Hugs, Rhonda
Oh Carla, My heart is so breaking for you and your family. The video was absolutely a beautiful tribute to a truly beautiful angel. I wish I had words but know there aren't any other than please know your family is in our prayers.
Hugs, Rhonda
Carla and Sammy,
I want you to know that I am praying for you as your grieve the loss of your child. Our adoption from Vietnam feel through right at the end when our son's birth mother reclaimed him. It's not the same I know, but from one mother's grieving heart to anothers, grieve everything as it comes. Grieve the dreams you had for her, her beautiful face, the memories you had already shared and those you were desperate to start sharing. I run a grief and loss group for parents whose children have died. It is a pain beyond pains and I am so sorry that you must endure it. God give you rest and peace, and be your cloak of comfort with each new thing your must grieve about your little girl.
Meichell
What a beautiful tribute to Josi...we are still thinking of and praying for you & your family.
I just heard of your great loss. As many have expressed, my heart aches. I praise God that He has raised up an army to surround you with prayer! I'm sure you realize you will never know all of those who will carry you and your family to Jesus. I will join them...
Psalm 22:19
But you, O LORD, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me.
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Love,
Amy Arnold
Psalm 46:10
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
So sorry.. God bless you and your family..
I am continuing the prayers for you and your family!!
We are thinking and praying for your family- excellent video!
I can not even imagine the pain and sadness you are experiencing. Oh let there be a god who puts his loving arms around Josi and her foster family. The evil in this world is apalling.
Carla...I wanted you to know that I put prayer requests for you and your family and a link to your blog on mine. I've followed your journey on a.com for a long long time, and I'm praying for all of you. Again....my heart is with you...and I hope you feel my prayers.
Shannon (shanpine)
http://shannondawn.squarespace.com
Dear Carla,
We are friends of the Ferrick family and learned about your family through them. May God give you peace and extra love at this sad time, I wish I could hug you and everyone there! I heard this on "little House On The Prairie" years ago, and thought it might give some small comfort, "Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I'll remember you, if you can only remember me with tears and crying, then don't remember me at all" I know your "sweetness" Josi, is smiling with Jesus right now, and wants you and your family to be strong. May peace and grace be yours from Jesus, Martha C
You are both a wonderful couple with such big hearts!
God bless you and your family!
Rest in Peace Dear Josi!
Tears are streaming down my face as I type. I was catching up on a friend's blog and she posted your story. I was so moved by this tragedy I had to let you know that I am SO SORRY this happened to you.
I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family.
Sincerely
Phyllis Kern (a fellow adoptive mom)
Words can not express the sorrow I feel for you and your family.I will continue to pray that you take solace in God's comfort. Your Josi is a beautiful angel and this story will touch many lives.
Kathie
Traveling to China in 3 1/2 weeks
Such a beautiful video...may the beautiful memories live in your heart forever!
Carla, Sammy and Family I am praying for all of you and Josi as well as her foster family. My heart goes out to all of you. You have my deepest Sympathy.
Carla & Family,
You all have been in our thoughts and prayers! This hurt our hearts so much to hear of this tragedy. I know you must feel a great sense of guilt for cancelling your trip, but everything happens for a reason! If Josi could not be home with her adoptive family, what better place for her to be than with her Heavenly Father!
God Bless you & your family!
Joel,Lisa,Maegan(our Guatemalan girl) & Makayla(our L.A. girl) Garza
For This Child, Inc.
We are praying for you in your time of loss. We are so sorry.
Sincerely,
The VanWetten Family
Still praying that God will wrap His arms around you and bring you peace. May your family drawl coser together during this difficult time.
Sending you hugs and prayers!
May God hold you in the palm of his hand and heal your heart. The Lord needed her for something else....
More H-U-G-S from Atlanta, Georgia.
I don't know you or your family but I am in the midst of adopting a HIV Positive child from Ethiopia. I'm not even sure how I was directed to your blog, but my heart is aching right now for you and your family. Please know that we will be praying for your entire family that God may bring peace to your hearts.
I know you will treasure every picture and video you have of Sweet Josi....for the rest of your time here on Earth...Tammy is such a sweet heart and dear friend....wonderful slideshow.
Hugs...Oh her brown eyes are in all of our hearts tonight...
What a precious child. I'm praying for you all.
I found your blog form a friends- WE adopted from Guatemala and I saw your post and I want to tell you I am SO Sorry! We were adopting from Guatemala and I had visited teh end of September 2006and was with our sweet Silvia for 1 week I told her we would be back soon, as we were just entering PGN - She was 5.5 months old.. Well, 2 weeks later October 12th, I got a call from our agency that our sweet Silvia passed away...I know the shock feeling when you heard the news and the sadness and the emotions.. It is something so har,d as you are here and not there and feel a little guity and mad..
She will always will be a part of our family and our Angel up in Heaven from Guatemala to look over us.
I wish You luck and will continue praying for your family during this time.
i'm so sorry!!! i can't imagine what you're going through right now.
Beautiful Video. Beautiful Josi. So sorry for your loss.
What happened is unimaginable. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the wonderful video.
WE LOVE YOU ALL AND BRINGS OUR HEARTS TO YOU FOR YOUR GRIEF TO EMPTY INTO. PRAYERS FOR EVERYONE THERE WITH YOU. SUNSHINE TO WARM YOU AND THE WHOLE FAMILY IN THESE DARK TIMES. REMEMBER HER ALWAYS AND NEVER FORGET, BECAUSE SHE LIVES FOREVER IN YOUR HEARTS UNTIL JESUS SHOWS HER TO YOU FACE TO FACE AGAIN.
I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy! Josi is now an angel, God needed her more than anyone, you may not understand now but one day you will. Please know you are in our prayers!! God be with you and your family!
Carrie
The Glory of the Lord shines through you, Carla. It truly does. (I wish I could see her video.. You know I can't.) I know you don't need to be reminded... but I'll say it anyway... Be Strong and Courageous for the Lord our God is with You!
I just found out about your tragic loss. My heart goes out to you today. I'm truly sorry, sister. May the Peace the Passess All Understanding be yours today.
Pam
The video is perfect. I know I will never understand what you are going through, nor do I want to, but I am overwhelmed by your attitude. May God's blessing be upon you and may you feel His presence. Your family will be in my prayers.
Sarah
What a beautiful tribute to your daughter. I am praying for your family and will post on my blog about your beautiful princess.
I know I cannot completely understand how you are feeling. To imagine it is even to painful to bear. Please know that their are many praying for you'r peace and comfort at this very difficult time.
((Hugs))
Julie
Julie
Hi Carla,
I came across your blog and wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your loss. We have a little boy from Guatemala. After losing four pregnancys I used to comfort myself with the thought of at least a baby won't die (during the adoption process) that was of course naive. I also have a brother who was murdered at 24yrs old. I know there are unfortunately many who share this kind of pain that you are going through. I am so sorry. Seeing the video really breaks my heart and she is so beautiful. I do still think of my brother in the present tense often-maybe because death isn't the end-but a new birth. I will be praying for you and your family.
I'll be praying for your family during this difficult time. Wishing your heart may find peace.
Renee
Hi,
I came across your blog through Angel's blog. I am so, so, sorry for your family's loss. I am a GuateMama as well and I just cannot imagine what you all are going through. The video was beautiful-I just sat and cried. My husband asked what I was watching and after seeing Josi's beautiful face, he was emotional as well. We are praying for your family through this difficult time.
Carolyn
Please do not be mad at yourself! You showed your daughter so much love and promise! I am in tears for you... But you are right - she is dancing with Jesus. She wouldn't trade places with any of us for anything - she is Forever HOME. Loving and praying...
Becca
What a beautiful little girl... I could not watch the whole video, I am so near to tears. I know you longed to have her physically with you, I am so sorry you had to give her back to Him much earlier than you thought. His plan first, always...
Praying for peace for your family this Christmas,
Nilia P.
I just wanted you to know that my family will be sending up lots of prayers for your family.
Carla, I am so angry and sad that this has happened to this little angel. Your faith is inspirational.
Sending all your family love and hugs.
Mary
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. May your memories comfort you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Just dropping back in to know that we are still praying for you, we still walk around with heavy hearts, you are not forgotten. We know that Josi is dancing away in Heaven, but we want your hearts here on earth to KNOW comfort.
You are an amazingly strong family and you are giving the world another gift with your love and faithfulness to God.
We continue to pray...
what a beautiful video...I am still praying for you all and wishing you strenght in this o so difficult time..thinking of you all!!
We will lift you up in our hearts and prayers. Thank you for your courage and strength as you share your story. One day we will all understand His plan.
Carla, Just wanted you to know that we are still praying for you and your family. I know the holidays will be tough and I continue to pray for God's blessings and mercy for you all.
You, and Josi, are not forgotten!
May the God of all comfort allow you to feel His arms around you and give you peace in this painful time. I can only imagine the loss you feel, but am also so thankful that you know where your little angel is....as much as you had hoped she would be with you for a good long time. Praying for you tonight.
May God give you and your family the strength you need daily to continue in faith. You are in our thoughts and our prayers.
My heart just breaks for you.
God Bless!
Robin
Carla,
Just wanted to tell you that I'm still think of you and remembering sweet little Josi. You'll be in my prayers and I'll be thinking of your precious baby each time I remember my own.
I know it will be hard but I hope Christmas time gives you some peace and reminds you of God's love for each of you. Still praying for you all, M from OK
Still praying for you. Blessings on your famliy as you celebrate Christmas.
Carla,
We are still thinking of you and praying for you and your family. I know this year will be especially difficult - praying for peace for you.
Carla,
I've never met you, dear sister in Christ, but my heart breaks for you and your family!! I have been to Guatemala twice and fell in love with the people. There are times in life when I can't grasp why things happen. Stumbling across your blog brought me to one of those moments. My heart aches for you. Please know you're in my prayers.
My life verse is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord, 'plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."
May your heart stay soft to Christ, resting in His arms of love, and trusting in His plan. He WILL walk you through this valley and guide you through the darkness.
Blessings,
Merry Christmas,
Love in Christ,
Molly
I have left a message before but your family has really been in my thoughts, prayers, and especially my heart. After the hustle and bustle of the holiday, I sit tonight again thinking of you. You have been on my mind so much. When I look at my boys (both from Guatemala) I feel so much happiness. Your story has touched my heart and life. It shows me how the everyday stresses do not matter and how much I love my boys! Please know I think of you so often. Hope your holidays were as peaceful as possible.
Love your Fellow Guate Mom!
Shelley
Kentucky
I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you that God's peace will comfort you. Josi is just beautiful.
Hugs.
I just found your blog and wanted you to know that I just prayed for your family. I am so very sad for your loss of your sweet girl. I pray the Lord continues to heal your hearts and reveal His perfect plan for your family. Your Josi was beautiful.
In His Grace,
Sivje
I just found your blog and wanted you to know that I just prayed for your family. I am so very sad for your loss of your sweet girl. I pray the Lord continues to heal your hearts and reveal His perfect plan for your family. Your Josi was beautiful.
In His Grace,
Sivje
Carla,
What a wonderful video celebrating Josi's life!
One day you all will be together and see her sweet smile again. Until then, know that she is an angel in heaven looking down and watching after your family.
God Bless you all and good luck with the adoption of your next two children. Love to you all and your Mom too
Sharon Jones O'Kelley
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